Paula Deen’s Assistant Is Getting Sooo Fired…

Brandon Branch got a little to honest when tweeted that the celebrity chef’s Royal Caribbean cruise is like “a floating nursing home,” complaining that “everyone is 80 and up!”

In a series of tweets that have since been deleted, Branch obviously forgot that there is such thing as private tweets when he also complained, “My room is also the size of my powder room at home. And no liquor in minibar! I am in a dark place!!!!”

He then asked a friend to come “rescue” him. Apparently someone let Branch know his very public complaints were perhaps not a great idea, because he removed them and kept quiet until later in the cruise, when he got back online and was hilariously enthusiastic: “Having a fabo lunch at El Cid resort! I have always loved Mexico!! One more day at sea, then home. Been so much fun!”

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Vine Is Already Full Of Porn

It’s only been a week maybe and ’s iOS video-sharing app, Vine, is already full of porn.

yay!

This weekend, a hard core porn video managed to get at the top of Vine’s “editor’s picks” and Twitter users were not happy about it.

“You must be crazy! Editor’s pick?!?” tweeted one. The video has now been taken down, and Twitter is red-faced and apologizing. The social network blamed “a human error” for the video. “Upon realizing this mistake, we removed the video immediately.”

But don’t worry, there’s a lot more porn where that came from: According to ZDNet within days of the app’s appearance, it carried porn. Vine does let users flag inappropriate content, and enough flags can lead to an account’s termination; and after all, “if you search hard enough, you can find images of nudity and on most image upload sites.”

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Twitter Rolls Out Video App ‘Vine’

rolled out a new iOS app today dubbed “Vine.” What does it do? It allows you to create and watch 6-second looping videos, in a -esque feed.

While the resultant videos will instantly remind you of GIFs, they’re actually MP4 files, meaning they can include sound—the app will instantly switch sound feeds to the next video as you scroll through your feed.

While you can cross-post your Vine videos to Twitter (and other social media for that matter), Vine is currently a separate app that isn’t fully integrated into the site—though Gizmodo predicts that it will be eventually.

Own an Android? Too bad, Vine it’s not available on Android or any other platform yet.

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J.R. Smith Uses Kanye/Kim Baby To Burn Kris Humphries On Twitter (pics)

J.R. Smith’s New York Knicks lost to ’ Brooklyn Nets… During the game, Humphries was booed, so he couldn’t resist a little innocent jab at the Garden crowd on after the game was over…

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J.R. Smith didn’t enjoy that.

jr-smith-twitter

Lesson: Never mess with JR Smith, dude knows how to properly stick it where it hurts.

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Pope Benedict Getting Twitter

Get ready, XVI will start tweeting in six languages from his own personal handle (at)Pontifex on Dec. 12.

The Vatican said Monday the pope will be using a question and answer format in his first Tweet, focusing on answering questions about faith — in 140 characters.

The pope sent his first tweet last year from a Vatican account to launch the Holy See’s news information portal. The Vatican’s communications adviser Greg Burke told a press conference that the handle (at)Pontifex was chosen for the pope’s personal account because it not only means pope in Latin, but also bridge-builder, suggesting unity. How often will the pope tweet? Burke said, “as often as he wants.”

The Vatican has been increasing its presence in social media to try to spread the faith, particularly among the young.

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Chris Brown Closes Twitter Account Again

In today’s edition of ‘Things We Have To Live Over And Over’ has shut down his account after someone called him on his woman-hitting ways… again.

Brown deleted his account on Sunday night, just hours after trading barbs in a totally NSFW verbal war with comedienne Jenny Johnson.

It all started when the crooner tweeted a photo of himself captioned:

“I look old as f**k! I’m only 23.”

Johnson quipped:

“I know! Being a worthless piece of s**t can really age a person.”

As expected, that didn’t go over well. Chris replied with:

“Take them teeth out when u Sucking my d**k HOE.”

An unrepentant Johnston corrected Brown’s spelling, saying:

“It’s “HO” not “HOE” you ignorant f**k.”

The fuel-throwing continued was multiple one-liners about feces and oral sex, before Jenny threw in the towel, tweeting:

“Okay. I’m done. All I got from that exchange with Chris Brown is that he wants to sh*t and fart on me…I have zero respect for a person who seems unapologetic for the terrible crime he committed and shows no signs of changing.”

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Victoria Jackson Bat Shit Crazy Over Obama Win

has been losing her mind slowly though the years and she hasn’t exactly been a beacon of rational political analysis, but her post-election meltdown on was epic. After won the elections, the former “SNL” castmember took it a little too seriously.

Here’s Jackson (via an unverified Twitter account) on the outcome of the 2012 presidential election:

victoria jackson twitter

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Ann Coulter Calls Obama A “Retard”

Last night dropped a bomb that’s managed to anger even her fellow conservatives. After live-tweeting the debate, Coulter posted, “I highly approve of Romney’s decision to be kind and gentle to the retard.”

Really, that’s what she tweeted.

Journalist Michelle Malkin tweeted back: “What a stupid, shallow thing to say, Ann.” Malkin’s site, Twitchy, rounded up some of the negative backlash and noted, “She sure doesn’t speak for us.”

- Comedian Patton Oswalt: “Ann Coulter died of prostate cancer in 2002. Her Twitter account’s a sentient emu skeleton with a swatch of eyelid skin stretched over it.” He later added, “If Ann Coulter’s calling the President a ‘retard’ it means he won/is going to win. She’s our un-pettable Punxsutawney Phil.”
- Model Chrissy Teigen: “not ever shocked by @anncoulter. my bar for her is set so low that it is, ironically, in the depths of hell.”
- Modern Family exec producer Danny Zuker: “Local news is reporting on a fatal ballooning accident and tragically neither victim was Ann Coulter.”
- Actress Marlee Matlin: “Despite our differences, it’s NOT ok to use ‘R’ word. Consider millions of developmentally challenged Americans. It’s just UNBELIEVABLE.”

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