Barcelona star and Argentinian legend Lio Messi was in Japanese TV show recently and battled it out against a robotic goalkeeper… because this is Japan.

At some point you can hear Messi say in Spanish: “The son of a bitch is good!”

Who wins?

Japanese scientists have confirmed that the numerous sightings of squid “flying” above the ocean’s surface are real.

Man, Japan has the coolest shit.

How does the Japanese flying squid catch air? It releases a high-pressured water jet for propulsion, and then spreads its fins like wings to glide above the water, according to a new study from marine biologists at Hokkaido University.

The squid can speed through the air at over 11 meters per second. That’s faster than Usain Bolt, who averaged only 10.3 meters per second in the 2012 London Olympics.

“There were always witnesses and rumors that said squid were seen flying, but no one had clarified how they actually do it,” biologist Jun Yamamoto of Hokkaido University told AFP. “We have proved that it really is true.”

The researchers tracked about 100 squid in the northwest Pacific Ocean in July 2011, and there they observed the creatures launching into the air. When flying, the squid can remain airborne for about three seconds and travel upwards of about 30 meters, Yamamoto told AFP.

He added that as the squid are vulnerable when flying, it’s possible they may be a source of food for sea birds or other predators.

Love Joule, a colorful new bar in Tokyo, is being advertised as the first “love and sex bar dedicated to women.” What is that you ask? Proprietor Megumi Nakagawa says:

“Once they take a seat, customers are able to experience a pleasant place in which they can openly discuss masturbation,” she said. “Since most people view female masturbation as something of a mystery or taboo, it is not a usual topic at typical bars.”

The bar’s decoration is there to help you get in the mood: Behind the counter, where rows of liquor bottles would normally stand, are colorful display cases filled vibrators.

The spot is already a hit with women in the commercial sex and burgeoning adult film industry, according to its Facebook page, which sites former adult video star Nayuka Mine and model Sayo Hayakawa as customers.

“I go because it is a safe place and I don’t have to worry about trying to brush off men all the time,” said a customer going by the name Sayama. “Add in that it is also a great place to drink and talk about what we women love to talk about, sex and guys, that’s also a big pull.”

You have to give credit to South Korea on creativity: A singer and a team of students will swim a 144-mile, 55-hour relay to the site, arriving on Wednesday. That just so happens to be Liberation Day, which marks the country’s independence from Japan.

Tokyo has also claimed sovereignty over what Koreans call the Dokdu islands; to the Japanese, they’re the Takeshima islands, the AFP reports. In the US, they’re called Liancourt Rocks… And probably Britain calls them ‘Falkland Islands 2′.

South Korean President Lee Myung-bak visited the islands on Friday and called them “worthy of sacrificing our lives.” That same day, Koreans held up signs declaring their claim at the Olympics; one winning soccer player who did so was barred from attending his medals ceremony. The next day, the Japanese foreign minister threatened an International Court of Justice lawsuit over the island dispute. In the past, both countries have shied away from international arbitration, since both fear losing, the Wall Street Journal notes. Japan says it took the islands during a century-old colonial expansion, but South Korean police have patrolled them since 1954.

It seems like bacon and cheese is not enough for some people, so Wendy’s decided to lure new customers with some pretty unique burger toppings: caviar and lobster.

Unfortunately, you’ll have to head to Japan to sample the offerings, and you’ll have to do it quickly—the burgers are part of a limited-time offer. They follow Wendy’s re-entry into Japan in 2009, when the company debuted a burger with foie gras and truffle sauce; both burgers will run you about $16.

If you just had breakfast please don’t read this: A Japanese artist recently cooked and served up his own genitals for diners at $250 a plate—to raise awareness about sexual minorities and pay for his hospital bills, the AFP reports.

Mao Sugiyama, who calls himself asexual, had his private parts removed this spring and kept them frozen until the May 13 culinary event. Apparently the dinner was so good some people even asked the 22-year-old when he’ll be doing it again… “But there is only one set of male organ,” Sugiyama tweeted. “Unfortunately, I have no plan for the next time.”

The original tweet that started this:

[Please Retweet] I am offering my male genitals (full penis, testes, scrotum) as a meal for 100,000 yen [$1,250]. I’m Japanese. The organs were surgically removed at age 22. I was tested to be free of venereal diseases. The organs were of normal function. I was not receiving female hormone treatment. The length at full erection was 16.1 cm [6.3 inches]. First interested buyer will get them, or I will also consider selling to a group. Will prepare and cook as the buyer requests, at his chosen location. If you have questions, please contact me by DM or e-mail.

If you were wondering, Sugiyama served his privates up with mushrooms and a parsley garnish.

Here are some pics, view at your own discretion:

Universal Studios is planning to open a Wizarding World of Harry Potter theme park in Osaka by late 2014, reports the Guardian.

The park, like the one in Orlando and the one under construction in Hollywood, will feature rides, a Hogwarts castle, and a Hogsmeade village. The Orlando Potter attraction has boosted attendance at Universal Orlando by 68%, and demand is likely to be just as high at the park in Japan.

The Potter movies grossed nearly $900 million in Japan, and millions more were made from merchandise like magic wand chopsticks, but with no more books or movies to come, Universal needs the theme parks to magic more money out of the franchise, notes the Los Angeles Times. Execs say that with two parks now under construction, they have all the Wizarding Worlds they can manage for now, but they’ll certainly be willing to take a look if more opportunities present themselves.

Today, Japan shut down the nation’s last operating nuclear reactor. This means that for the first time in more than 40 years the nation is without atomic power

The government isn’t happy and is warning about potential blackouts over the summer, but anti-nuke activists are thrilled in the wake of the Fukushima Dai-ichi disaster.

“Today is a historic day,” said one to a crowd in Tokyo, according to AP. “There are so many nuclear plants, but not a single one will be up and running today, and that’s because of our efforts.” Today’s reactor, like the others before it, was shut down for routine maintenance. But new rules put into place since Fukushima require authorities to get the approval of local residents before turning reactors back on. Activists leading the push want stricter industry oversight and better safety tests before agreeing to do so.