Former teen bride Courtney Stodden told E!News that she’s made a sex tape… but don’t get your hopes up: The 18-year-old says the video, which reportedly features her solo and was supposedly shot recently after she turned 18, is private.

The tape, Stodden says, is “not out in the media” nor is it on her computer. “Hackers, don’t even go there cause you’ll find nothing,” Doug Hutchison’s wife tells us about poking around her computer. As for what’s on the tape, it’s “just me,” she claims, adding that it wasn’t shot too long ago. “I turned 18 in August, so you do the math.”

I’ll be honest, I want to watch this… especially since Doug is not in it.

A very detailed report emerged yesterday that made me wish I didn’t have internet access so I wouldn’t stumble upon nightmare inducing material like this: Apparently there is a sex tape about to surface online featuring “a large dildo,” “a gag ball” “a slapper paddle” and our very own Joe Jonas.

The tape allegedly stars Jonas and his Swiss model girlfriend, Blanda Eggenschwiler. It was supposedly filmed earlier this very month in Argentina.

BlindGossip reports that the tape was initially slated for release on April 3rd but could now hit the web as early as today

Here’s a very detailed and kind of funny description of the video:

“They proceed to engage in multiple sex acts utilizing a variety of sex toys, including a large dildo, a gag ball, and a slapper paddle. Joe participates willingly, but seems less sure of how to use the sex toys, as well as how they will be used on him. He does not enjoy being paddled. At one point he has had enough and cries “Owww! Don’t do that anymore!” Blanda is the more dominant one in the video. At one point she inserts the dildo inside of herself, orders Joe to “lick my p**** juice off of it,” and he complies.”

Joe Jonas is of course denying the wretched tape exists.

Melissa King’s alleged sex tape could turn into a potential business venture… after the video leaked onto a popular porn site, YouPorn.com reached out to the pageant queen to become their new spokesperson.

As we reported yesterday, Melissa King, who was crowned Miss Delaware Teen USA in November, has resigned her crown amid allegations she appeared in a pornographic video.

King said in an interview she knew of the video, but was not the girl in it.

YouPorn’s Braden Burns reached out to the pageant queen and asked her to be “Miss YouPorn.”

Here is a transcript of the offer…

Dear Miss King,
We are deeply saddened to hear that you resigned your crown of Miss Delaware Teen USA due to the recent reports of you having shot a hardcore sex scene on an adult website. As you now know, there is nothing more popular than a story involving ex beauty pageant contestants doing porn! While your peers and the Pageant officials may not like the publicity this is generating for them, we absolutely see a real opportunity for us to work together!

My name is Brandon Burns and I am the Marketing Director for Youporn.com. We are the largest adult site on the internet and one of the top websites in the world averaging over 15 million visitors a day. While you may have surrendered your tiara for Miss Teen USA, we’d like to keep that pretty head of yours topped with ours, and name you Miss Youporn ! We’d like to offer you a compensation package of over $250,000 this year to go across the world and promote our site. We believe your incredible beauty and personality coupled with our internet traffic is a “win win” for both of us.

We believe this story will only catapult your career and could really expose you to an
entirely different audience. Many famous directors and producers frequent our site
daily, we know this due to the emails we receive from them. I am sure through your
travels with us as Miss Youporn, you will meet a lot of incredible people and see the
world. We’d love to sit down with you and your representatives at your earliest
convenience. Please email me at braden@youporn.com

Regards,
Braden Burns
Youporn.com

That it and run girl!

Miss Delaware Teen USA, Melissa King, after getting hit with an online sex video scandal.

“The Miss Delaware Teen USA pageant has received a resignation letter from Miss King’s attorney,” pageant spokeswoman Dara Busch said in an e-mail Tuesday.

That was the day after a porn website posted a sex video featuring a woman it identified as Miss Delaware Teen USA. The woman looks and sounds like King, 18, of Bethany Beach.

King of course denies the whole thing saying the woman in the video is just a look alike.

It’s weird because the girl in the video looks and talks like King…

In the video — shot some time in June 2012 — the girl addresses the camera, claiming she turned 18 a couple months beforehand in March, which is King’s birth month. The girl also describes her favorite sex position … before the actual sex begins.

We are not posting any video because I don’t want to get in trouble (who knows if she was actually 18 or not), but here’s a screenshot of it before the naughty part starts and some other pics to compare.

Is it her?

Nadya Suleman’s disturbing foray into the sex industry has earned the mother of 14 some surprise fans: Porn People.

The AVN Awards, the Oscars of adult films, has nominated Octomom Home Alone for four gongs at this month’s ceremony; including Best Celebrity Sex Tape, Best Solo Release, Best DVD Extras and Best Marketing Campaign.

“I don’t consider myself a celebrity, but I have never heard of the other people nominated. So I’m pretty sure I have a good chance of winning.” Said Suleman.

By dipping her toes into pornography and stripping, Octomom has pulled herself out of foreclosure and managed to afford a five-bedroom home for her enormous brood.

Rumor has it that Emma Stone — who is currently dating Andrew Garfield — is the featured attraction in a secret sex tape, which she’s fighting to keep from being released.

Emma, 25, recorded the amateur flick with a still-unidentified suitor before she made it big in Tinseltown.

According to sources: “Emma Stone has a sex tape and that’s a fact. She made it long before she started dating Andrew Garfield and before she really became a household name. She was just young and probably thought nothing would ever come of it.”

“The tape remains in the hands of the person she made it with. But that doesn’t mean there’s any guarantee that it won’t eventually hit the market. She has no respect for women like Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton who became famous because they released a sex tape.”

Kim Kardashian is reportedly horrified after a second sex tape starring her and ex-boyfriend Ray J has allegedly gone on sale.

As well all remember, Kim was catapulted to fame after her infamous sex tape with Ray J, 33, hit the Internet in 2007. The 32-year old parlayed the media nightmare into a multimillion-dollar reality TV empire. But now Kim reportedly fears that another raunchy flick could torpedo her budding romance with rapper Kanye West.

“It’s definitely Kim in the video. And it’s even raunchier than her last one. There are all kinds of eye-popping moments. Kim fears this will damage her relationship with Kanye West.”

This is potentially disturbing: Hulk Hogan is in the middle of suing over his leaked sex tape. The wrestler is going after Bubba the Love Sponge, his ex-wife, and Gawker for a big number: more than $100 million.

Hogan claims Bubba and his wife recorded him in the act without his permission. Gawker gets heat for making the video public.

But Bubba, on his radio show today, claimed Hogan himself “could have had something to do with the leak of it.” Which could be a little gross.